


What's your name?

by whythekwehnot



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: All the laughs after 26 years of my own name being spelt wrong, Coffee Shops, FFXV AU, I live to annoy, M/M, Planned as a one shot, Starbucks, Swearing, Tumblr Prompt, name spellings, now going to be chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2020-12-24 21:03:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21105974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whythekwehnot/pseuds/whythekwehnot
Summary: So I found a prompt on Tumblr: "Prompto just so happens to always be your barista at your local Starbucks and ‘accidentally’ never gets your name right and giggles every time you roll your eyes so you find out his name and bring a coffee cup with his butchered name on it, making eye contact and throw it away, starting a name fight." credit to 'Paintcoon' for it :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The reader is Noctis here, I have tried to write Noct as the reader and Prompto in the third person, please let me know if the tense doesn't make sense! I've challenged myself with how I wanted to write this one. I had planned it as a one shot, but I have too many ideas of how these two are going to wind each other up and I now want to bring Ignis and Gladio in eventually. So please bear with and I hope you find it funny!
> 
> Also, I have no idea how to split the perspectives in a way that makes sense so the line of ****** is my way of doing this!

As you approach your regular coffee shop; you secretly hope that the blonde barista isn’t working. He ALWAYS manages to murder the spelling of your name. It’s not like your name is hard to spell for goodness sake and, almost as if he is really trying to irritate you; he laughs each and every goddamn time you look at him unimpressed and points out the bad spelling. Maybe you should tell him his hair looks like a chocobo butt next time he gets your name wrong. 

********************************************

Prompto is brewing a black coffee for the customer he’s just served, the bell above the door rings, signalling a new customer has walked in. He finished the drink he was working on, turning and handing it to the lady waiting; the strong scent of coffee floating around him like an aura. He turned his head towards the door and sees that HE has walked in. With his permanent cocky swagger and unwelcoming expression on his face, or what could be seen of his face around the mop of jet black hair covering half of it, Prompto couldn’t help but want to irritate him. Luckily, he knew just how to do it.   
  
“Hi, welcome to Starbucks; how can I help?” 

The customer looked straight at Prompto and placed his order, as if he was silently daring Prompto to get his name wrong again.

“Hi, can I get a latte with an extra shot please?” he asks. 

Prompto kept his composure when he asked, “Name?” in his sweetest customer service voice. 

“Noctis.” the customer responded. “N.O.C.T. I.S” Prompto nodded as he wrote the name on the side of the takeaway cup.

Smiling at Noctis, he answered “Got it, that’ll be 5 gil please.” 

Noctis paid for his coffee and moved over to the side to wait for his drink. 

*******************************************

As you stood there watching blondie start to brew your drink, you hoped that he had decided to listen to you this time and spell your name correctly. The barista turns around and hands you a steaming cup of fresh coffee. You check the name on the cup, ‘_ NOKTISS’, _ reading it twice; before looking up with a scowl on your face. “Dude, how many times do I have to tell you my name? Seriously!” The infuriating barista simply looks at you and laughs, chafing your already thin patience. Clearly not getting anywhere with this guy, you take the latte and storm off, slamming the door on your way out. Deciding that you were going to get your own back on the little shit next time, you head off to work; grumpily chugging down the hot drink. 

It’s two days until the next time you pass by Starbucks again, you peep through the window and spot chocobo-butt hair working again. Having had enough of your name being spelt wrong, you go in and ask the other barista what the guys name is; with it being the weekend, there are two of them working that day. 

Whispering conspiratorially, you ask “excuse me, what’s that barista called?”, nodding your head in blondie’s direction. 

The other barista looks at you, slightly confused but answers anyway, “He’s called Prompto.”

Feeling your mischievous side stirring, you double check the spelling; confusing the poor person even further, but they do confirm that the spelling is as you thought. “Thanks for your help.”

You loiter around for a couple of minutes, claiming to be looking at the menu; but you were actually waiting for Prompto to be available. Having waited patiently, the other barista finally walks off to clean some tables after only a minute. 

“Hi, welcome to starbucks, how can I help?” Prompto asks you innocently. 

“Can I get a latte with an extra shot please?”

“Name?” 

“Noctis. Could I also get a spare cup by any chance please? These ones are a bit thin and burn my hand” you ask, as innocently as you can muster. 

“No problem at all,” he smiles at you. No doubt scribbling your name down the wrong way yet again. 

You get your coffee, name spelt wrong as expected and don’t make a comment about it. “Thanks dude, see ya later.” and you go to sit at a table in the corner. You remove the second cup and pull out the marker you had in your pocket and write on the side in big, black capital letters, _ PLOMPTIO. _Chuckling, you put the marker away and wait impatiently while you enjoy your drink. Half an hour passes and you get up to leave; you drop your empty cup into the recycling bin and wonder over to the counter area where Prompto is still working. Stopping and putting your best innocent expression on, you drop the spare cup next to the till, “hey, thanks for that, appreciate it.”, and you walk away; a smirk plastered across your face. You know when Prompto turns around and picks the cup up by the sound of hysterical laughter that follows you outside. Satisfied with yourself, you go home and plan your next encounter at the coffee shop; this isn’t over yet.

******************************************

Prompto had worked the last five days out of seven, he was starting to wonder where his favourite customer was, he hadn’t expected to like the guy after weeks of deliberately spelling his name wrong just to piss him off; but then he’d done it back, and had done it in style. Now, he hadn’t come in for a coffee in a week, or at least not the days Prompto had worked. Getting bored towards the end of his shift, Prompto turned at the sound of the bell above the door ringing, ready to greet the customer who had just walked in. Seeing who it was, he grinned to himself before speaking.

“Welcome to Starbucks, what would you like?”

The customer ignored Prompto briefly, checking over the menu, almost as if he was going to order something other than the latte with a double shot that he usually bought.

“Hi, can I get a flat white please?” he asked, sounding tired. 

“Of course, extra shot?” he usually asked for one, Prompto remembered what his regulars usually order, this guy, Noctis was most definitely a regular by now. 

“No thanks, just a normal coffee today.” 

Prompto took the money for the drink, and thought to himself whether he should wind Noctis up again today. _ Ah why not, I might cheer him up, _he thinks to himself. Prompto turned around and starts brewing the drink, having written the name on the cup; trying to keep a straight face as he scrawled “NOCTUP” onto the side of it. 

“Here ya go, enjoy your drink.” 

Noctis takes the cup, looking at the name written on it. Prompto watched him as his face split into a massive grin and he cracked into hysterics. Unable to not laugh too, Prompto ended up laughing hard enough to make his sides hurt. Trying to stifle his laughter to be able to speak, Noctis managed get out, “Oh my god, that’s brilliant! Why do you always spell my name wrong? Not that I mind anymore to be honest, I’ll just give it back but what sort of a name is ‘Prompto’ anyway?” he flashed a cheeky grin at Prompto. 

Having decided to take the bait, he replied “I think my names about as unique as yours ain’t it? At least my name can’t get spelt wrong in hilarious fashion like yours does, Mr Noctup”

Noct’s eyes sparkled with amusement, Prompto suspecting that he’s just opened himself up for more name war shenanigans, two seconds passed before he was proven to be correct. 

“Oh yeah, who needs to focus on your name when your hair looks like a chocobo butt” Noctis chuckled. 

Stunned for longer than he realised, Prompto found his voice again, “IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A CHOCOBO BUTT! Even if it did, chocobos are my favourite bird, so you’ll have to find something else to tease me about.” Prompto stopped his tirade and just stared at Noctis, who stood in the same place as before but now with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“Dude, you’ve just shown me how easy you are to wind up. I’ve got a good few months of irritating the hell out of you to catch up on.” he chortled. Noctis thanked Prompto for the drink and walked towards the exit. “I’ll be seeing ya next time, chocobo hair.” 

Prompto turned around, having made a very undignified sound of annoyance at the man who had just walked out of the shop. “My hair doesn’t look like a chocobo butt!” he whispered to himself. The war was on now, both sides having made the first moves. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a whole new direction. You still have the name wars, although it's now progressing into an all-out prank war but I also found a (what I think is) fitting way to have a bit of fluff / awkward romance stuff going on. I hope you like, this was a lot of fun for me to write, despite it being short.

You’re running late for work, you’re normally there by now but what with your friends getting you absolutely wasted last night; you’re alarm wasn’t as effective that morning. Ignis can definitely hold his damned liquor, you think to yourself enviously, he was up at the crack of dawn; shoes on, coffee brewed and out the door before you’d even stirred. Apparently, he’d not realised that you had work or he would have woken you, or at least he claimed he would have in the short text chat that you’d shared that morning with Gladio.

All the musclehead had contributed to the discussion was a voice message of him howling in laughter when you had revealed just what had gone on the previous night in a drunken state. Having been childhood friends, there were no longer any barriers between the three of you. No embarrassment...that was until you’d made the wrong decision in telling him that you’d kissed Ignis and then passed out before he could even react. Seemingly there were still some things that you couldn’t share without being laughed at. Ignis has been suspiciously quiet after trying to reassure you he would have woken you up if he;d known that you were due in at work at 8:30am. Not allowing yourself to wonder why he was being quiet, you yanked open the door to your usual coffee stop and spot Prompto working. Assuming he must obviously have been put on the early shift today, you head towards the counter to order the strongest coffee that you can. Your hangover was very noticeable and was taking its toll on you.

*************************************************  
Prompto looked up at the ringing of the bell above the door. He had been stocking up the machines and fridges, hoping for a quiet morning since he had only managed to fall asleep at 3am the previous night. Seeing that it was Noctis, he debated whether or not to annoy him; the name wars were ongoing after all. He approached Prompto and asked for the “the strongest coffee known to man and astrals”, a smirk spread over Prompto’s face as he stopped and really looked at Noctis. He had bags under his eyes, wore clothes that looked like they’d been on the floor all night and was quite clearly fighting to keep his eyelids from closing.

“Late night sesh? Hope you had fun!” he joked, whilst writing ‘his drunkenness’ on the side of the coffee cup; before turning around to start brewing the quadruple shot coffee.

Waiting expectantly for a response, Prompto frowned when he didn’t get one, he turned to ask if Noctis was alright when he heard a soft snore and spotted him resting his chin in his hand and leaning on the top of the counter. He turned back to the coffee machine and chuckled to himself, oh this’ll be fun, he thought to himself; plotting in his head how to mess with Noctis in his current condition. Like a lightbulb goes off, he straightens up, eyes focused as he turned back to face Noctis. He placed the ridiculously strong coffee off to the side, walked over the freezer and took a handful of ice cubes out of it. Placing these in a plastic takeout cup, the ones they usually reserved for iced coffees and the like, he filled the rest of it with water. Now the time had come to be patient and hope no other customers walked in, he needed to wait for the ice to melt just enough for the water to be absolutely freezing before he made his next move.

Noctis remained leant over the counter, gently snoring to himself when the water reached the perfect temperature. Prompto, being as quiet as a mouse, picked up the cup and placed in front of him. He wet a small cloth in the freezing water and covered his hand with it, removing the offending cup of water before making another move.

Prompto placed his hand a couple of inches away from Noct’s face, and slapped him with the soaking, freezing cloth right across the left side of his face.

“AAAAAHHHHHHH, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!”

Unable to hold his laughter in, Prompto let a hearty laugh erupt from himself before answering the customer; who incidentally, was stood there looking as if he was about to launch himself across the counter and tackle Prompto.

“Ohmygod, dude, you were totally out of it, I just couldn’t resist. Revenge is a dish best served COLD.”

Noctis looked at him for an entire minute, trying to think back to why Prompto needed to get revenge on him, whilst trying to settle his heartbeat after the cold shock he had just experienced.

**********************************************

You smirk as you remember why Prompto had it in for you. “I see the chocobo hairstyle is still working for you.” You don’t need to say anything else as you stand there, watching Prompto’s face go from pale white to pink to tomato red. He puffs himself up like a cat about to attack just as Noctis feels his laughter bubble up and out of his chest, unable to stifle it before doubling over in hysterics. “Prom! You’re face, if only I had a camera and a shred of photographic skills.” you manage to compose yourself enough to stand up straight, seeing Prompto looking suspiciously keen about something.

“Photographic skills? I know a thing or two, I could teach you some basics, if you want?” he asks, the evidence in his face of just how much he loves photography.

Not having the heart to admit you couldn’t care less about photography, you instead mention your friends, and their interests. “I’ll bring them in some time, Ignis is more of a coffee snob than I am and Gladio will, without a doubt help you wind me up. It’s his no-so-secret passion.” you chuckle. “Let’s see if you spell their names right, did you make my coffee? What with you ‘waking me up’ oh so gently, I’d forgotten all about it.” Prompto turns around and picks up a cup from the other side of the till.

“Yep, here ya go Noct, hope you feel better when you drink it; it’s verrrry strong, so maybe don’t gulp it down in one go, you might start acting like a hamster in a wheel on speed.” the blonde laughs.

Thanking Prompto before you leave, you chance a look at the cup. “His drunkenness? Why do you think I was drunk and/or now hungover?” you say, slightly indignant.

Snorting, Prompto answers, “you’re eyes are glassy, you’re quite clearly bloody exhausted and you smell of beer, do ya not know you sweat it out the next day?” Prompto looks at you with a twinkle in his eyes, obviously getting far too much enjoyment out of the encounter. Resigning yourself to just shaking your head, you can’t help but grin to yourself, the morning’s coffee shop visit cheering you up from your hungover stupor you had woken with. You take a quick look at the time and realise that you’re another hour late for work, so you pick up the pace and down your coffee in a short amount of time. Finally reaching work just as the caffeine kicks in and you feel your heart start racing a mini marathon in your ribcage - whoops. If I start running laps around the office, maybe they’ll send me home early to not hurt myself, you think to yourself, debating the pros and cons of pissing your boss off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gladio gets involved in the prank.
> 
> Noct takes it to the next level against Prom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long. I was scratching my head for ages on where to take this one! Hope you like it :P

Prompto was beginning to close-down the coffee shop when a group of customers walked in. Rolling his eyes at the interruption, the barista turned around to greet them and spotted who stood at the front of the group. Seeing Noctis there lightened his mood, he could do with a laugh after the day he had had. 

“Hey Noct, what would you like?” the blonde asked. 

The young man waved back, “Hey, normal please dude.”

Nodding, Prompto tapped in a latte with an extra shot and asked his friends what they would like. The lithe, spectacled man answered and introduced himself as Ignis and the other one, who Prom had nicknamed ‘the wall’ as the man was built like a brick wall, introduced himself as Gladio. Noctis walked over to the newspaper stand (did he even read?).

Gladio leant across the counter, whispering “sup, so you’re the one who’s been winding up the princess are you?” Prompto just nodded in response, too dumbfounded to form a reply in case he was about to get punched, “brilliant, I want in. Write Princess Naps-a-Lot on this one for me.” Gladio asked with a wink, dropping some gil in the tip jar. 

Rolling his eyes, the other man, Ignis he had called himself, chuckled “Gladiolus, do try to grow up”. His eyes sparkling with amusement. 

“I have grown up, doesn’t mean I can’t live to piss off that knucklehead.” the other man answered, sticking his elbow in Ignis’ ribs. 

Prompto started to prepare their drinks, making sure he spelt the other twos names correctly and writing ‘Princess naps-a-lot’ onto Noctis’ cup. He was smirking to himself as he brewed the hot beverages, relishing in now having help in winding up Noctis. The barista turned around and handed the drinks across to their recipients, leaving Noct til last. 

“Here ya go buddy.” Prompto gave Noct the coffee and turned away quickly to finish cleaning up. He waited for the reaction to Gladio’s suggested wind-up impatiently, snorting loudly when it happened. 

*************************************************************

You looked at the name on the cup, eyes narrowing when you read it. _ Princess naps-a-lot, oh I know who told blondie to do that. _

“Hey big guy!” you yell at Gladio, walking across to the table your friends had sat down at. Gladio looked up just in time for the slap to hit him square in the face, you grin when you hear the satisfying thwap, resulting in your friend jumping up to try to tackle you to the ground. You sidestep to dodge the tackle and he runs past you, having to stop his sprint before he collided with the counter. “You’re an asshole, I don’t sleep that much ya know.” you laugh, Gladio struggling to maintain his glare at your dodge. 

“Noct, you do mate. I turn around and you’re unconscious. Iggy asks you something and you snore instead of answering. You got a problem, accept it.” the larger man chortled as he sat back down, watching you to see if you’d try anything else. 

“Meh, it is what it is, did your names get spelt right or is chocobo hair getting yours wrong too?” you query innocently, having raised your voice just enough that Prompto heard your chocobo hair jibe.. 

“Perfect spelling here”

“He checked how to spell my name”

You stare at your friends as you sit down. Great, just great, so your friends get treated normally and you get wound up constantly. You decide to really irritate blondie next time, you just need to plan how to do it. Ignis and Gladio chat about their jobs, they both work in a big, fancy office; Gladio is in security and Ignis manages the place; you worked there for all of one week before you told Iggy you were quitting, offices weren’t your cup of tea. 

That also happened to be the last time you were at the coffee shop, you were hungover and impulsively quit your job whilst in a caffeine rush. Now you worked in a tackle shop that also ran fishing trips, your friends didn’t really understand what it was that you liked about it but they never pestered you about it, content that you were happy. 

You and your friends are almost ready to leave when Prompto comes over, a small smirk on his face.

“How were the drinks, all okay?” he asks cockily. 

“I noticed that these two had their names spelt the right way. Only me you want to annoy, I take it?” you ask, feigning annoyance; the barista’s antics no longer irritated you but rather amused you. 

Prompto winks at you, “I gotta give you my full attention, wouldn’t be fair to ya otherwise dude.” 

You roll your eyes, letting out a small laugh. “Ok, shall we call a truce? Gladio can tell you, I won’t give up otherwise, I’m the worst at pranks.” 

Prompto looks at you as if you’ve grown another head, “uhhh, I don’t believe you mean that.” he says uncertainly. 

“Okidoke then, I’ll be seeing ya sometime soon, the next time I need my coffee fix.” you reply, still smiling mischievously. Prompto returns to the counter and you, Ignis and Gladio leave the coffee shop. As you close the door behind you, you see a notice in the window. 

***STAFF WANTED - WEEKENDS ONLY***

_ Perfect timing, _you think to yourself, thinking about how shocked blondie would be if you rocked up to work there one day. You decide to apply for it, a little extra money would help and it would bring the wars to another level entirely. 

__________________________________

Prompto woke up to text from his boss.

**~Prompto, I’m sending a new guy in today, train him up please. Ravus.~**

Sighing, he climbed out of bed and got in the shower, going through his normal morning routine before heading to the coffee shop. He unlocked the door and wondered what time the newbie was going to show up. 

**~Boss, whens this guy getting here?~**

Five seconds later, the reply pinged on his phone.

**~9:30, he’ll be working the full shift but I decided he can learn the opening procedures later.~**

Prompto checked the time, it was one minute before the new guy was meant to get there and he was starting to worry that they wouldn’t show when the bell over the door rang and Noctis walked in. “Noct, you wanting your normal?” he asked. 

A shit eating grin cuts across the other mans face, “Nope, I’m here for training, I’m the new barista.” he said softly, clearly waiting for a reaction. Unfortunately for Prompto, controlling his face never had been a strength and he felt his jaw drop and his eyes go wide. 

“WHAT” he gasped.“Yep, I’m the new guy, I’m glad you’re training me. This’ll be _ fun” _Noctis winked. 

_ Fuck, he’s really got me this time. Maybe he’ll still want a truce on the pranks? _Prompto thought to himself in a panic.

“Oh, okay, yeah, let’s get started” he said, sounding slightly less panicked than he had a minute ago and he began to show Noct the ropes and taught him how to make the various drinks from the menu, worrying himself sick that the other man was planning a terrible prank _ at work. _

_ I’m so screwed... _

**Author's Note:**

> I respond to everyone. Much love :) 
> 
> Find on Twitter! @_Shell_Fire


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